grown man

playthings

Edge Of Desire

Lift up my eyes
I really wish I hadn't
Because there you are. Flamboyant and disarrayed, the world is your stage
And I am it's fool
Because I want you
And you will never know
And we will never be
You are at the edge of my desire
And there you will remain
For a week? A month? A year?
Perhaps till tomorrow
Perhaps till I see you fall from grace
As they usually do
But it's magical, what your words mean to me
I am punished
It is wrong
But if I ever get the chance again...
I am the world's fool
And you are the protagonist
Though you don't even know 
My stories always have the same ending
I always fall asleep with roses in my hands, and a gun on my chest

You don't even know

         Give the girl a glance. White boots, black tights, red skirt and black jacket? A tight look on her face - she has places to go, things to do. A brief look of recognition flashes across her face as she sees a friend - but she's gone in a minute, dark hair flying, boots clicking in the distance.
        We know her. We know her major, we know her friends, we know her classes, we know her room number, we know where she went last weekend.
         Did you know that she hates to smile, but does it because she has to?
         Did you know that she never knew her mother, and does not want to know her father?
         Did you know that when she looks at you, she knows she can give you her all - if only you asked for it, if only you could?
         You don't know her at all.
         You could, if you tried.
         But I know you never will.
        

Just another goodbye

The world is full of goodbyes. Is this any reason not to say hello?

For me it is.

I have said too many goodbyes to be naive enough to say that saying hello again is worth the pain. You meet someone new... you get close to them... and they let you down.

Again.

Sometimes you think, yes, I can trust this person.

Sometimes it happens unconsciously. 

And then all of a sudden you realize they've entered your world...

And you're vulnerable

Maybe it's something wrong with me?

Maybe I'm the one making the same mistake.

Over and over again.

And now I'm tired.

The bystander tells me that if I never say hello, I will never love.

To me... I guess that's the whole point.

If you don't love, you don't care. And when you don't care, you don't get hurt.

I can't help but care deeply about the ones I love. And inevitably, I get hurt.

Shame on you if you fool me once, shame on me if you fool me twice right?

I need to see some effort on your side. I need to know you care - because baby, I do.

And you don't even know. 

Did you ever love me?

Did you ever care?

I guess I'll never know.

You're just another goodbye

we are made of steel and bolts, not flesh and bone

           Today I gaze at the skyline and I see steel and concrete pillars, stretching their powerful fingers into the clouds. We speak of ash clouds and pollution, Global Warming and a depleting ozone layer... and machines taking over our lives. Environmentalists bomb ships, and protest against the tearing up of Mother Earth; Michael Jackson holds onto splintering trees as he asks for the world to return to its former lush green glory in the "Earth Song". But the truth is, the world isn't going to miraculously go back in time to when our forefathers burnt wood instead of gas, and people are not going to stop their consumption of our world's resources just because there is an impending, publicized fear of the environment disintegrating and climatic patterns disheveling in the near future. Heck- tell someone that the world is ending in 2012 and that person will laugh and say either "Then let's live it up till then!" or "I need to finish so much before that." The sad truth us that we have forgotten where we have come from, and what is important, and taken for granted what has been given freely to us. This is human nature. We are self-consumed creatures, put on this earth to breed, to be frank. So why should we care if our grandchildren, or indeed, CHILDREN, don't survive? We gasp and make up our minds to do our part to save the earth after we watch a gripping show on Discovering Channel about Global Warming or after we watch a movie like "The Day After Tomorrow". But does this mean we will all sell our Marutis and ride bicycles to work? No.
           So what we supposed to do?
           I look outside my window. A forest of green greets me as I live outside the city in Sri Lanka; but the sad truth is, my father is already cutting down a tree as I write this because it was growing against our wall and marring the paint. This is what is wrong with the world. And the truth is, unless we step up, and really take to our hearts the consequences of our actions on our planet, this WILL continue. Heck, this is going to continue whether I get off my bed and ask my father to stop or not. Fact of the matter is, unless God pities us, or wipes us off this Earth in 2012, or we switch to renewable sources of energy soon, we may not live to see the world as it is in time to come. Machines have taken over the world: heck, I'm using a machine to write this write now. Was the world simpler during Jane Austen's time when she wrote her books by hand? Yes. Is the world more efficient now? Also- yes. 
          I am not asking you to try and invent new forms of biofuels to save the world. All I'm asking is that you look around, realize how many Earth's resources have been taken for granted, keep it in mind, and do your small part to stop, if not slow down the destruction. Heck, even if it doesn't help, we can say that we DID do all we could. Prove to yourself that you haven't turned into a money-minded machine; that you are made of flesh and bone and not steel and bolts. 
         Now I'm off to talk to my dad about that tree!

what a tangled web we weave