grown man

playthings

Edge Of Desire

Lift up my eyes
I really wish I hadn't
Because there you are. Flamboyant and disarrayed, the world is your stage
And I am it's fool
Because I want you
And you will never know
And we will never be
You are at the edge of my desire
And there you will remain
For a week? A month? A year?
Perhaps till tomorrow
Perhaps till I see you fall from grace
As they usually do
But it's magical, what your words mean to me
I am punished
It is wrong
But if I ever get the chance again...
I am the world's fool
And you are the protagonist
Though you don't even know 
My stories always have the same ending
I always fall asleep with roses in my hands, and a gun on my chest

You don't even know

         Give the girl a glance. White boots, black tights, red skirt and black jacket? A tight look on her face - she has places to go, things to do. A brief look of recognition flashes across her face as she sees a friend - but she's gone in a minute, dark hair flying, boots clicking in the distance.
        We know her. We know her major, we know her friends, we know her classes, we know her room number, we know where she went last weekend.
         Did you know that she hates to smile, but does it because she has to?
         Did you know that she never knew her mother, and does not want to know her father?
         Did you know that when she looks at you, she knows she can give you her all - if only you asked for it, if only you could?
         You don't know her at all.
         You could, if you tried.
         But I know you never will.
        

Just another goodbye

The world is full of goodbyes. Is this any reason not to say hello?

For me it is.

I have said too many goodbyes to be naive enough to say that saying hello again is worth the pain. You meet someone new... you get close to them... and they let you down.

Again.

Sometimes you think, yes, I can trust this person.

Sometimes it happens unconsciously. 

And then all of a sudden you realize they've entered your world...

And you're vulnerable

Maybe it's something wrong with me?

Maybe I'm the one making the same mistake.

Over and over again.

And now I'm tired.

The bystander tells me that if I never say hello, I will never love.

To me... I guess that's the whole point.

If you don't love, you don't care. And when you don't care, you don't get hurt.

I can't help but care deeply about the ones I love. And inevitably, I get hurt.

Shame on you if you fool me once, shame on me if you fool me twice right?

I need to see some effort on your side. I need to know you care - because baby, I do.

And you don't even know. 

Did you ever love me?

Did you ever care?

I guess I'll never know.

You're just another goodbye